Step #9: Exhibit B - You've got to be kidding me!

To catch you up, we're on #2 of a 3 part story. About folks from my past who all decided to come to me wanting to make amends. For being shit-heads, I suppose. Sorry, I'm trying to be NICE.
But I've had a chance to go to the happy place in my head and I'm all better now!

Exhibit B: Much-older male friend from Texas.
This one's the REAL DEAL, baby. Workin' that Step #9. As in, emailing me from rehab.
Oh yeah.
We met while I was doing my ER-oncall-social-worker-gig and he was a paramedic. I'm not dating anyone, he is divorced. I befriended him knowing that it is platonic, because hey, I don't kiss my daddy! I think he gets this as well. Lots of laughs at 2am at work, he cooks a mean lobster, has a beautiful nomadic spirit, sweet 12 year old daughter and a mother who is a hilarious, jaded social worker that I enjoy cutting up with. Hijinks ensue and fun follows this guy...we swim with carp at the lake, drink hard cider on his roof and talk about religion, and I watch his daughter occasionally. Over time, his free spirit eventually morphs into him becoming completely absent-minded, never having money and blowing off his job. Not ideal, but he's a friend, after all, and don't we help friends when they're in need? NICE people do. All is well until boyfriend (now-hubby) and I get back together, and I think the 3 of us can hang out. We're all just friends, right? Um, not so much. Both guys see something that I don't - it isn't platonic to much-older male friend from Texas. (Note to self: Dude! Doesn't the fact I've never even kissed you lend a clue? Really? All that time just the two of us? Nothing. In denial much?) I slowly try to disengage from the friendship, and his daughter is never around anymore because school started again and she lives with mom in another city. The last time I see him is Sept 11th when he shows up at my front door for some reassurance that the world is going to be all right, and I tell him that I can't continue to see him if it isn't platonic. Never see him again. Guess I got my answer, huh?

Fast forward 7 years. He contacts me to say he is on Step #9 and feels he must make amends for "using me" and "being dishonest". I really wasn't too upset about the whole situation and it never really weighed on me. Yes, I was annoyed when he was irresponsible, but it wasn't like I was dating him or something. And yes, I wish he'd been up front about any feelings he had for me so that I could nip that shiz-nit in the bud immediately. But if he feels that his amends provide closure and assist in his recovery, then I'm supportive and accept his apology for....whatever. My goal is to live life without regrets and to appreciate every experience that I'm given.
Then the kicker: someone else is in rehab also...the daughter, who is now 18 or 19. Poor kid must've had a rough adolescence, apparently, which makes me feel bad because I still picture her as a 12 year old. She doesn't want to make amends, per say, but she has a question for me. I can't believe that she even remembers me, and I can't imagine what she wants to ask me.
She wants to know WHY I NEVER MARRIED HER DADDY BECAUSE HE TOLD HER THAT SUMMER THAT I WAS PROBABLY GOING TO BE HER NEW MOMMY. Whaaaaaat????? Words can't describe how I felt. So bad for her, so pissed at her presumptuous dad, and then I'm thinking "No wonder the dude's in rehab, because he must've been high the entire time we were friends to have come to a conclusion like that"! So I tell her that it was never like that between her father and I, and he never told me he felt that way or I would not have hung out with him, blah blah blah... a million useless words and I'm left wondering how many years she thought about that question. Still hurts my heart to this day. I pray for her a lot.

Are you wondering about my response to Much-older male friend from Texas? It was not NICE.
And if I ever move back to Texas I will explain to dear hubby that I have to see him just one time. Just long enough to sock him in the nose.

Going to another happy place.. Exhibit C is the best yet!